By Daryl Hannah. Date Posted: March 07, 2008

 

For most, coming out at work is not an easy task. You can't be sure
how your company or peers will respond to your revelation. And despite
recent reports that the workplace is growing increasingly accepting to
LGBT employees, people often don't know how to welcome a colleague who
recently came out the closet.

PricewaterhouseCoopers executive Stephanie Peel's history is a
corporate America coming-out success story. When she came out
professionally nearly 10 years ago, she was welcomed by her
colleagues. "I came out personally in 1997 and came out professionally
in 1999. Fortunately, I never heard anything not positive," says Peel.

Peel now serves on the company's LGBT-partner advisory board, which
consists of 10--12 leaders in the firm who are LGBT, and provides
guidance to the management committee to help further advance
initiatives and activities. PricewaterhouseCoopers is No. 12 on The
2007 DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity(R) list and No. 2 on
the Top 10 Companies for GLBT Employees.

"I often tell people who ask me about this [that] it's not just about
what you can't say or shouldn't say because sometimes I find that
colleagues feel stymied in that they shouldn't say anything at all.
There is a lot of room for the things you can say to give clues to
people that you are inclusive and culturally sensitive," warns Peel.

So what are 10 things should you NEVER say to your LGBT colleagues?
Here's what GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network),
Out & Equal Workplace Project, and Peel suggest:

No. 1: "I suspected you were gay."

Although it is a common response, it's insensitive and plays into stereotypes.

No. 2: "I'm sorry."

Why should you apologize for a colleague's orientation? This implies
judgment and can make the situation more difficult. Would you
apologize for a person's ethnicity or gender?

No. 3: "Why did you tell me that?"

It's important for people to bring their "whole selves" to work, and
coming out of the closet is certainly a part of who one is. "The
notion of leaving a big part of your self at home and walking into
work is like walking around with two types of shoes on," says Selisse
Berry executive director of Out & Equal, an advocacy organization that
provides services to companies, human-resource professionals,
employee-resource groups and individuals.

No. 4: "Which bathroom do you use?"

Transgender people often are asked what gender they are. Such
questions are inappropriate, warns Out & Equal. It is important to
remember that gender identity is becoming an increasingly sensitive
subject.

No. 5: "We are not close enough for you to share that information with me."

Not all employees are interested in their coworker's personal lives.
If you feel a colleague may have shared too much information, you can
simply say, "Thank you for telling me that," says Peel.

No. 6: Referring to coworkers as "she-male."

There has been a lot of uproar these days over this phrase.
Transgender employees often are the brunt of culturally insensitive
jokes and comments.

No. 7: "What do you like to do in bed?"

Sexual questions and comments are always off-limits. Not only do you
run the risk of offending a colleague, you are also teetering the line
of sexual harassment. It's important not to be confused between trying
to understand someone's personal life and inappropriate sexual
harassment, warns Kevin Jennings, executive director of GLSEN.

(c) DiversityInc 2008 (R) All rights reserved.

by Marti Abernathey | March 7, 2008

 

 

Is one of the key players in the United ENDA movement, Mara Keisling,
signaling its death? Recently Keisling said:

'We have to show Barney Frank 220 votes,' she said. 'If we show
him 220 votes, nobody is going to work harder on this. The same with
HRC… It's going to happen again next year. '- After ENDA, the
Fighter's Resilient

According to Donna Rose's blog :

3/1/2008 - They're currently planning to hold hearings in Congress
specifically about transgender workplace issues in April. Whereas
original plans were to tightly control those hearings, Rep. Frank has
largely turned over control of gathering the stories to NCTE/Mara
Keisling (who's home in DC with pneumonia). Mara has been diligently
working with many of us to identify potential speakers who can come to
Washington DC to speak and I expect she'll be finalizing that to give
to Barney shortly.

Frank later emailed Rose and said:

3/5/2007 - "…at the request of Mara Keisling, I agreed to meet
with her to discuss the hearing. In fact, my office has met with
several groups for input, but Ms. Rose's assertion that I "largely
turned over control of gathering the stories to NCTE/Mara Keisling" is
wholly baseless. In fact, the Committee on Education and Workforce has
jurisdiction over this bill and therefore, the "control" was never
mine to turn over. And while the blog referenced NCTE, the fact is,
several groups have been working to identify potential witnesses –in
fact, the ultimate decision about who is ultimately selected rests
with subcommittee Chairman Rob Andrews and full committee Chairman
George Miller, after consulting with me.

On a later entry, Rose said:

During our conversation today HRC came up several times. Joe (Racalto,
Barney Frank's senior policy adviser) went out of his way to
assure me that HRC is taking the lead in these hearings in many ways.
As far as our community is concerned I'll take his word for it and let
it all unfold….

It's interesting to timeline Keisling's comments about the Human
Rights Campaign (HRC):

05/23/2007

(concerning the Matthew Shepard Act)

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) did an incredibly skillful and
professional job as a lead organization on lobbying for the bill.Their
work and efforts were absolutely everything that any LGBT person could
hope for–they really did ALL LGBT people proud. And they as
individuals and as an organization are putting their hearts into
transgender work and we should be very appreciative. - (posted to TGv
Advocacy)

In that same post she said about ENDA:

Our Allies: Years ago, we didn't have too many. We had to educate
and, yes, fight our way back into the LGBT movement. I know there are
still imperfections and I know that some trans people are still
skeptical. Yet, I can tell you without hesitation that the entire
organized LGBT movement is with us now. Our education worked. Our
indignation worked. It is our moral responsibility now to embrace the
people we asked and demanded to be our allies. If we do not believe in
education, in persuasion, in redemption, we have
no right being in civil rights. Why educate if not to win over?
Why win over if not to embrace and move forward together? HRC really
is an LGBT organization now and getting a lot of great work done for
us all. Congressman Frank and Senator Kennedy too. Let's move on
together. - (posted to TGv Advocacy)

7/1/2007

(concerning protesting)

Anyone (and again I am not saying you are suggesting this) who
would still hope to positively impact ENDA or LLEHCCPA by protesting
allies who are really getting the job done for and with us–allies like
HRC, Rep. Frank and Sen.Kennedy–in my opinion, simply would not be
seeing or else not understanding what is going on. - (posted to TGv
Advocacy)

10/10/2007

We consider this action a kind of 'family intervention'. We
believe that HRC is misguided in their response and lack of action on
the ENDA legislation. While we appreciate the support that HRC has
given us in the transgender community, we are disappointed with HRC at
the moment, - Transgender Activists Protest HRC Dinner

10/13/2007
(concerning HRC's "brokering" of the inclusive ENDA [2015] putting it
off to be heard in the future "when it has the votes to pass.")

HRC's 'new deal' is entirely spin meant to undermine the
unprecedented grassroots efforts of hundreds of organizations and tens
of thousands of individuals in order to allow movement of their vanity
bill that no one including Speaker Pelosi or Congressman Frank says
they really want. - NCTE's Daily Update

01/24/2008

'Our official position right now is we are extremely disappointed
and angry at HRC. … The real bottom line is right now NCTE will not do
anything that will rehabilitate HRC as a legitimate spokesman for
transgender people … until they stop actively hurting trans people',
said Keisling. She characterized HRC's advocacy of the sexual
orientation-only version of ENDA in the House, as well as its expected
lobbying to pass the bill this year in the Senate, as hurting trans
people.

As for NCTE's future plans for ENDA, Keisling said that after the
election she expects advocates to lobby a new Congress and a new
president in favor of passing a trans-inclusive ENDA bill.

'It is our expectation that in 2009 Congress is going to hear from
a very united LGBT movement,' said Keisling. 'Whether that includes
HRC I have no idea.' - Trans-HRC schism widens

3/5/2008

'We have to show Barney Frank 220 votes,' she said. 'If we show
him 220 votes, nobody is going to work harder on this. The same with
HRC… It's going to happen again next year.' - After ENDA, the
Fighter's Resilient

As recent as yesterday, HRC was lobbying for a non-inclusive ENDA.
In an email from Cuc Vu to the HRC Steering Committee, she writes:

Lobby ask:continue to build support in the House for HR 2015;
request the Senate to take action to prohibit workplace
discrimination.

Since the non-inclusive bill (3685) has already passed the House,
asking the Senate to take action to prohibit workplace discrimination
is asking them to support 3685. Essentially it's business as usual for
HRC. Nothing has substantially changed in their lobbying efforts.
They've had no "rehabilitative" moment or change of heart. If you take
Keisling's words to heart, the only other conclusion that seems
logical is that United ENDA is dead.

By: Joelle Ruby Ryan

Issue date: 2/25/08 Section: Forum

In the wee hours of Feb. 4, U.K. mother of five Kelly
McWilliams discovered her 10-year-old son Cameron had
committed suicide by hanging himself with a black
leather belt. Cameron had told his mother he wanted to
be a girl and wanted to start wearing make-up, a
request his mother denied. Cameron had been a victim
of bullying at school and had few friends.

On Feb. 5, Detroit police found the body of a
transgender woman in an empty lot with a gunshot in
the back of her head. They referred to her as a "known
prostitute" and as a "man" in women's clothing.
Although they know the victim's name, the police have
refused to release it to the public, furthering her
status as an anonymous victim.

On Feb. 9, police found the dead body of a 25-year-old
black trans woman in her Bronx apartment. Sanesha
Stewart was allegedly stabbed to death when the
perpetrator found out she was transgender. The New
York Daily News, the first to report on the story,
used the offensive headline: "Fooled John Stabbed
Bronx Tranny."

On Feb. 12, 14-year-old student Brandon McInerney
entered a computer lab full of students at the E.O.
Green Junior High in Ventura County, Calif., and shot
his classmate, eighth-grader Lawrence King, to death.
McInerney was allegedly enraged by King, who was
openly gay and gender-variant and known to wear
high-heeled boots, cosmetics and feminine jewelry to
class.

Every year, there are dozens of reported cases around
the globe about people who have been killed due to
their gender expression. Many of these victims are not
even properly named, referred to in media accounts
only as a "man in woman's clothing." Most of the
victims are young, poor, male-to-female transgenders
of color; some are sex workers.

They are oppressed due to racism, classism,
transphobia, misogyny and heterosexism. Their lives
are constantly under attack. I am now used to learning
of these cases, but I was shocked and saddened by the
recent spate of hate against gender-variant people.

Within the span of one week, four irreplaceable lives
have been stolen from us. The cause? Gender
intolerance, hatred and oppression. Gender-variant
youth and adults are seen as disposable people in
cultures all over the world.

Our U.S. society is obsessed with gender "purity,"
with the specious notion that sex and gender are
absolute, discrete binaries that cannot and should not
be crossed. Those of us who cross, blur and transcend
the rigid categorizations of male/female and
masculine/feminine are brutally punished for our
perceived transgressions against God and nature.

Like for Cameron and Brandon, school is often a place
of abuse. We are routinely beaten, bullied and
verbally assaulted by our fellow students. When we
come out to our parents, we are often rejected, or
even ejected, from our homes. As we grow older and try
to take care of ourselves, we are denied jobs, housing
and support. Trans women like Sanesha and the unnamed
victim in Detroit may take part in street-level
prostitution to survive.

As many as 75 percent of transpeople are un- or
under-employed. And yet, there is still not a federal
bill in this country protecting people from
discrimination on the basis of gender identity and
expression.

In the words of Barbara Deming, we cannot live without
our lives. If we can survive, we can fight against
employment discrimination, foster awareness and
support our trans youth. We can demand that parents
love their children unconditionally and support them
in their transitions. But we can do none of this if
our lives are stolen away from us. In death, our
voices are permanently silenced.

The tyranny of gender rigidity has a death grip on our
culture. And this system is not merely theoretical; it
has very real casualties. One of the things that
troubles me the most is how few non-transgender people
become allies in the fight for change. How many
transgender people have to die before you will get
involved?

Next Tuesday, members of Transcendence will be holding
a vigil to remember these victims of gender
intolerance from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the free speech
zone at the Union. All are welcome to join us. Come to
speak your mind, even if your voice shakes. As Audre
Lorde so eloquently reminds us: Our silence will not
protect us.

I dream of a world where 10-year-old children are not
so filled with hopelessness that they take their own
lives, of a world where eighth graders who are taking
the first, bold steps toward self-acceptance are not
shot in the head by young men filled with hatred. Do
you dream of a similar world? Will you step forward to
help us fight to make this dream a reality?

Joelle Ruby Ryan is an American Culture Studies
Graduate Student.

Here's an essential public hearing everyone should know about in terms
of making sure Massachusetts is a state that truly stands for civil
rights for all.

Transgender rights activists are preparing to state their case for
legislation that would protect transgender people from discrimination
and hate crimes as a bill moves through the State House.

The bill, scheduled for public hearing March 4, follows the model
of 13 other states that have legislation specifically protecting the
civil rights and safety of transsexuals, said Daniel Glasser, aide to
Rep. Carl Sciortino, a Medford Democrat who sponsored the bill.

The transgender rights bill is the first piece of statewide
legislation to address transgender rights, though some Massachusetts
towns and counties have ratified similar anti-discrimination laws,
Glasser said.

Rep. Byron Rushing, who introduced the bill with Sciortino in Jan.
2007, said it is important for Massachusetts to explicitly include
transgender people in the state's anti-discrimination laws.

"Transgender people represent a category of people who have been
discriminated against, but are not always covered by the existing
discrimination laws," he said. "This bill is a way to make sure
Massachusetts maintains its record of consistently protecting people
who are victims of discrimination."

Unfortunately, since the election I'm working on is actually on
Tuesday, I won't be able to attend this - but it's imperative the bill
passes, so I urge everyone to a) call their state reps and senators
and b) if you can, show up to the hearing, which is public and likely
open for public comment. Mass Resistance and their folks will very
likely be at this event, so it's important that we show a strong show
of force so our elected leaders know this is an issue that
Massachusetts citizens care about deeply. It's very important that, in
Massachusetts, no one is left behind.

 

Seton Medical Center does about-face, will allow transsexual to get
breast-enhancement surgery

A Catholic hospital that refused to allow its facilities to be used
for breast implant surgery on a man who had undergone a sex-change
operation has backed down and will now allow the procedure.

In 2006, a doctor told Charlene Hastings, 57, that Seton Medical
Center in Daly City would not allow him to perform breast-enhancement
surgery on a transsexual. Hastings then called Seton to learn more,
reported the Jan. 5 San Jose Mercury News. Hastings told the newspaper
the inquiry elicited the following responses from a Seton surgical
coordinator: "It's not God's will," and "God made you a man."

A 2006 memo sent by Seton Medical Center to physicians said that
"transgender procedures or procedures that are part of the
transgendering process may not be performed at Seton, as Seton is a
Catholic Hospital."

On Dec. 21, Hastings filed suit in San Francisco Superior Court
against the hospital, a part of the Daughters of Charity Health
System. The suit alleges that Seton violated state law, which allows
religiously-based hospitals to refuse to perform abortions but makes
no religious exemption for a denial of elective surgery to
transgenders.

On Feb. 27, the Bay Area television broadcast CBS 5 News announced
that "transgender Charlene Hastings has claimed moral victory against
Catholics." In what CBS 5 News called "a veiled mea culpa," the
hospital issued a written statement to CBS 5, in which a spokesman
said, "We regret any confusion that may have come from this situation.
We want this patient and her physician to know that they are welcome
at Seton Medical Center."

Seton, however, says Catholic teaching still prohibits it to
accommodate sex-reversal procedures.

"I'm glad that they've recognized that they've made a mistake," said
Hastings in an interview with CBS 5 News. But her attorney, Chris
Dolan, was more belligerent. Referring to the hospital's statement, he
told CBS 5, "I don't know where the confusion is, other than perhaps
they were confused that that was illegal." Despite the hospital's
reversal, Dolan said the lawsuit for monetary damages would go
forward. "Like any good religious experience, first you need
enlightenment and then you need atonement," said Dolan. "And what we
have here perhaps is a glimpse of enlightenment. Has it changed their
heart? I don't think so. Will it change their practice? It better."

Hasting, however, will not get his surgery at Seton, saying he is not
"comfortable" because he would feel the hospital would be "doing it
under duress."

As CBS 5 hinted, the lawsuit apparently was not really about one
hospital or one incident. "In this case," said the television news
announcer, "Hastings got civil rights to trump religious beliefs."

Police Investigating Slaying As Hate Crime

POSTED: 6:50 pm EST February 28, 2008
UPDATED: 9:47 am EST February 29, 2008

[Video: Police Post Fliers For Clues In Teen's Death]

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- Dozens of people attended a rally Thursday to
help generate leads in the killing of a teenager, and bring to light
what they said is a growing problem in South Florida.

"People aren't born hating gay people, they are taught to hate gay
people," said Matt Forman, spokesman for the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force.

A group of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people selected a
place they felt was appropriate to sound off; on a street corner where
Simmie Williams Jr. was gunned down last week.

Williams was well known in this neighborhood, in part for his fondness
for wearing women's clothing as he strolled Sistrunk Boulevard, people
who knew him told Local 10's Roger Lohse.

A memorial with flowers and pictures marked the spot on the corner of
Northwest 10th Avenue where the 17-year-old was killed last Friday at
12:45 a.m.

"My age and he's gone for what, over hate and violence. For what? For
nothing. It's so sad," said Markeysha Blackshere, a local resident.

Several local and state leaders joined the rally and called on their
counterparts to include sexual orientation in laws that provide equal
rights for gay, lesbian and transgendered people. They believe
Williams is the latest casualty in what they see as a growing war on
gay and transgendered people.

"There's an intolerance, even in this neighborhood and it's time that
we stand up as a community and say this isn't welcome anymore," said
Michael Rajner, an organizer of the rally.

Earlier in the day, police posted fliers touting a $1,000 reward for
information in Williams' killing , but detectives said they have very
little to go on. They have not officially classified Williams' death
as a hate crime, but they said they are not ruling it out because at
this point they've been unable to establish a motive for his killing .

"This may be a hate crime, it may not be, but we're definitely looking
into that possibility," said Fort Lauderdale Police spokeswoman Kathy
Collins.

In addition to the $1,000 reward being offered by Crimestoppers, Pride
South Florida is also offering $1,000 and the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force has contributed $10,000.

Anyone with information should call Broward Crimestoppers at
954-493-TIPS. All callers remain anonymous.